I sought out the world blindly, it occurred to me through a lack of vision my life has unexpectedly taken a turn for the worst. The anonymous feeling of anticipation leaves me on edge. A love that binds is also one that breaks deeper than a bottomless ocean. Sleepless nights of endeavor haunt me as the liveliness of my soul slowly slips away. My ability to love tore me in half, but my ambition to move on kept me sane. He showed me a world of disgust, a reason to fear the unknown but I was uncertain.

The fleeting memories still lingered upon the house once filled with joy, but beaten and destroyed revealing the uglies of the beauty through a facade of love. The realm of my fear grew colder upon my skin. Numbing my soul drawing it deeper inside shielding it from more hurt, that may break me once and for all. The suns warmth crept up my back prior to the exposed window shattered by my elbow in evidence of the sharp pain exploding with vibrant red. I supposed was in defense for my life, revealing a sense of feeling to the suns presence. It was light out, yet I was trapped in the darkness that played out repetitively through my mind. The day was still and quiet, not a single bird passed by with a singsong melody, one I couldn’t miss with the house torn apart freely letting the air wisp in and out.

There wasn’t a single strand of hope, more like hope was stranded on an island fading off into a mirage. Not a single night of sleep, I limped toward the bathroom passing by the mirror not recognizing the figure before me. It was tainted, worn out, unfamiliar, it once was a woman of intent, knowledge, and love. As I peer through the mirror I saw someone in hiding who had finally surfaced. Trying to grasp an understanding of who it might be. She was tall, thinner than usual, sagged eyes, dark circles forming from the lack of sleep, hair thick and black strung down mid-back, stick straight, knotted and muffled, lacking it’s silky shine stripped dry.

I haven’t been out for weeks, and my plan was to let nature play out since the confusing nature of its being tampered with my mind, possessing an abundant realm of misery. Dark and misty of an unclear resolution to my heart. I imagined living a life without the crude triumph being apart of it. I had to make a decision in the name of my husband. I seek to end him just as he ended my husbands future, harsh and unforgiving.

Days before I knew what happiness was, I knew it would have continued on for a lifetime locked in his obsessive love forever. I rekindled the love me and my ex-husband once shared and I believed life would go on. Leaving behind the mistake of sharing my life with the enemy, who continued to lurk my path latching on to my life and my partners. His obsession was absurd, I felt his presence lingering the night watching over me as I sleep. He would find every way to scurry himself back in, I only repelled which gave him the motive to permanently claim his power. The stalking, the messages, the gifts it got out of hand. Slowly I distanced myself from paying no attention, and that’s when I knew my life was at stake. It was like a switch went off in him, he got aggressive, I’d almost describe it as psychotic, I feared ever move I made.

It wasn’t until that night I knew it was up to me to protect myself. I hadn’t expected it, but my whole world collapsed before me, the first words that crossed my mind were Charlie Bensley. The man that cut deeper than flesh. The police came to my door informing me my husband had been found dead in a forest from a car crash. Soon enough expecting his company, retching at the sight of his impurity, he made his appearance. He leaned forward caressing me in his muscular arms. An illusion of coldness ran through my body. I was caught in disbelief he came to play.

He offered me his love as a single thing in the world hadn’t mattered. Silence vanished and the hurt ignited through my body, trying to escape his sturdy grip. I kicked and punch, and ran for my life into the closet, where I had kept my weapon. I came out threatening to fire with the silvery pistol shaking between my hands. The fury gleams brightly in my eyes, and he is aware, the bullets are engraved with his name ready to fire. He is still, hands up almost in surrender, I knew that wasn’t the case. He exceeded,  plunging to his feet grabbing a hefty grip on my neck, causing me to tense gasping for air underneath his heavy hands. I drop the gun, it’s now out of sight. He thrashes me to the floor, my thoughts only concerned where the pistol might be. It silver coating shining brightly caught my eye, I relapsed coughing vigorously crawling towards the light, I felt a sharp kick on my back, finding myself face flat on the carpet. Grabbing me by my hair, he yanked me upright whispering, “I love you, Sabrina, Why won’t you let me love you?” Disgust flooded my mind. The warmth of his breath ran up and down my neck neglecting ever second of it. I seized, then kicked him hard in the shin buying me time to grab hold of the gun. He struggled to stand up holding the tender pain of his leg. His eyes were full of rage and he darted towards me pushing me into the window, which grazed my elbow, blood dripping from my fingertips. In my luck, I managed to pick up the gun. Aiming straight for his heart. No sympathy, nor any last words, but mine. “burn in hell”.